A walk

We are so blessed to live in a community rich with natural places to play. A grey wet winter tends to keep this a secret, but with spring creeping in I sense my kids really needing to get outside.

Last week we made it out on a sunny day to play at one of our neighborhood parks.

What I needed the most was the reminder to sit back

and watch what caught their fancy, to let them lead me for awhile.

Of course, we had to get right up close to the creek, at first I didn't think I was up to it, all my grown up concerns got in the way, but in the end their curiosity won me over. I'm so glad it did!

A lot to catch up on...

I'm going to start blogging again, I keep thinking it and I keep thinking I don't have time to do it, but I'm going to do it, I really am...so many thoughts about so many things keep floating in and out of my mind, they need a place to go, and not just in my private journal. For me 2012 is already about living my life authentically and for me, that is about sharing. My intention this year, is to be brave! I'll be writing more about that in the weeks to come.

Sharing my writing and ideas is often very scary to me, I fear rejection, misunderstanding, judgement. Maybe even a little bit of me fears the opposite, acceptance and understanding. It is sometimes hard for me to be seen, I feel shy, raw and exposed. That's what being brave is about for me, stepping into those feelings and welcoming them in. It's about stepping into my shadows with the light of compassion and courage. If I never do that, this will only be a life half lived, I am terrified, but I don't want to waste this "one wild and precious life".

Doing Things Badly

I really dig the author SARK.  In one of her books, I can't remember which one, she gives this advice:  Practice letting go, messing about and doing things badly. That is the best advice my inner recovering perfectionist and my inner artist have ever heard.

Today, this advice is helping actually get through the process of creating this skirt I'm working on.  I'm often unhappy with my uneven stitch lengths, questioning how skilled my stencil design looks, wondering if I will actually want to wear this thing.  So I keep telling myself, after a deep breath "practice doing things badlY!"  And it is so liberating!  

Hank now loves to sweep with the new child sized broom I bought him.  Do you think he's a very good sweeper, hell no, when I try to get him to help sweep the little pile I make into the dust pan he just laughs and rubs his little broom through my pile sending it all over the floor again.  But it's not really about being good to his mind, it's about the process of moving the broom across the floor, doing what mommy is doing and he enjoys it so much.  So I'm gonna keep at it, practicing doing things badly.

If I stay in that mindset, I find I'm enjoying the process so much!  My body relaxes and takes delight in the colors I'm working with, enjoys touching the fabric, getting new ideas for different projects and wow I'm actively engaged in the process not worried so much about my end result...and life is lived in the process, it's when it's done that we're dead!

Inspiration

I came across this great Helen Keller quote on the website of my new obsession, Alabama Chanin:  (which is a great website!)

"Security is mostly superstition.  It does not 

exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.  Avoiding danger is no safer in the end than outright exposure.  Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."  I keep thinking about this quote in a variety of contexts 

in my life, I like it, I like the way it makes me think.

Speaking of Alabama Chanin, their book,  The Alabama Stitch Book, has struck a chord with me and inspired my artistic spirit.  Here is a panel of the skirt I'm working on from the book:

Back in Action

So I deleted all the old blog posts and thought well, I'm done with this blog thing...but you know, I've been missing it, so I picked a new look and now I'm back in the world of blogging.  Now new and improved and reenergized!